THE INTERNATIONAL COUNCIL OF MAN LAWS

1: Under no circumstances may two men share an umbrella.

2: It is OK for a man to cry ONLY under the following circumstances:

(a) When a heroic dog dies to save its master.
(b) The moment Angelina Jolie starts unbuttoning her Blouse.
(c) After wrecking your boss's car.

3: Any man who brings a camera to a stag night may be legally
killed and eaten by his friends.

4: If you've known a guy for more than 24 hours, his sister is off
limits forever unless you actually marry her.

5: Moaning about the brand of free beer in a guy's fridge is
forbidden. However complain at will if the temperature is
unsuitable.

6: No man shall ever be required to buy a birthday present for another man. In fact, even remembering your mate's birthday is strictly optional. But you must celebrate at a strip bar of the birthday boy's choice.

7: In the mini-bus, the strongest bladder determines pit stops, not the weakest.

8: When stumbling upon other guys watching a sporting event, you may ask the score of the game in progress, but you may never ask who is playing.

9: It is permissible to drink a fruity alcohol drink only when you're sunning on a tropical beach ... and it's delivered by a topless model and only when it's free.

10: Unless you're in prison, never fight naked.

12: Friends don't let friends wear Speedos. Ever! Issue closed.

13: If a man's fly is down, that's his problem, you didn't see
anything.

14: Women who claim they 'love to watch sports' must be treated as spies until they demonstrate knowledge of the game and the ability to drink as much as the other sports watchers.

15: A man in the company of a hot, suggestively dressed woman must remain sober enough to fight.

16: Never hesitate to reach for the last beer or the last slice of
pizza, but not both, that's just greedy.

17: If you compliment a guy on his six-pack, you'd better be
talking about his choice of beer.

18: Never join your girlfriend or wife in discussing a friend of
yours, except if she's withholding sex pending your response.

19: Never talk to a man in a bathroom unless you are on equal
footing i.e. both urinating, both waiting in line, etc. For all
other situations, an almost imperceptible nod is all the
conversation you need.

20: It is acceptable for you to drive her car. It is not acceptable
for her to drive yours.

21: Thou shall not buy a car in the colors of brown, pink, lime,
green, orange or sky blue.

22: The girl who replies to the question 'What do you want for
Christmas?' with 'If you loved me, you'd know what I want!' gets an X-Box 360 End of story.

23: There is no reason for guys to watch Ice Skating or Men's
Gymnastics. Ever.